Wine for your Whine?

Oh how I need this current Mommy Moment!

I love the sound of my daugther's cooes..makes me smile. As I sit here typing, she's cooing away in her crib...5 minutes after I put her down for the night. Is 4.5 months too early to start "testing" the parents?

Anyway- it's been an amazingly emotional week this week. I'm a stubborn, Yes - I- Can kind of woman that HATES admitting defeat (though I will do so where appropriate). This week= EPIC DEFEAT! I have to come out and say it..I AM DEFEATED- - PLEASE HELP. There, I did it, it's done, now you all know. Sigh.

I need help with the dishes, help with the laundry, help caring for Maria. I even need help getting out of bed after a hard work out. But you see, I'd rather refuse to admit that than ask for the help. So what does a person do that needs help and refuses to admit it...Meltdown!!! I had a major meltdown over an ice pack that didn't make it back to the freezer in it's respective time. Yup... total shut down...tears - pacing- mind racing "what should I do" ... MELT down. Oh how proud I am (not).

I got through it- my husband likely thinks I'm a nut case as a result- but I got it through. I asked for help and then went to bed. What did I get out of it: a few less things to do during the nightly routine, and one VERY CONFUSED husband.

Apparently, my "can do" attitude set a tone - one that I'm not too fond of. My husband believed that I never wanted help and thus he was just in the way; that he was taking my time away from Maria and that he would just watch from a distance. Yeah- there's a proud moment as a mother and a wife!

So, Pete & I are "re-designing" our roles as parents, partners and friends - I'm learning to ask for help before the falling leaf sends me into over drive, and Pete's trying to offer the help before he has a basket case on his hands. But let's be honest - what's really helping is the glass of wine that I pour when i'm getting over-whelmed. That's my medicine and a CLEAR QUE to Pete... "bring in the troops...Karen's about to lose it!"

It may take a glass of wine for me to admit defeat...but if I'm gonna be defeated, it should at least taste good! And with that, I'm going to celebrate my new found strength in sharing-the-load (if you will) by having a glass of wine with a good friend and fellow Mommy on my back patio as one Maria has cooed herself to sleep :)

This Mommy's Moment is about 72 hours over due and I'm taking two (moments) because I asked for the help!!! (just don't tell anyone, please).